A World Traveler’s Manifesto

Rufus G. Rumley

I am a world traveler. I’ve had the privilege of spending time in Saudi Arabia, Russia, China, and Vietnam.

I’ve maintained a strong sense of self despite facing varying hardships—walking through the jungle behind a native guide, Instragramming my reaction to native  foods, visiting museums, and navigating foreign public transportation systems during rush hour. Many times, I have seen poverty-stricken foreigners, and I have had to step over them during my commute.

Despite these many challenges, I have thrived.

Though I never learned to speak a second language or made any friends abroad, I have discovered a much more valuable gift. My experiences in countries with authoritarian politicians have given me the emotional distance to exploit labor in my home country.

In short, I allow my American interns to work for free.

I’m a small business owner (you’re welcome). I offer innovative, non-paid internships at my fashion-forward boutique. While working for me, interns learn to produce and screen-print T-shirts with efficiency. The interns learn professionalism; they keep a smile on their faces even when photocopying documents. But it’s not all hard work—when the interns work late, I provide snacks, and only rarely do I ask everyone to Venmo me money for the food expenses.

Upon completion of the year-long program with Allie’s T-Shirt Boutique, I offer a pleasant, brisk letter of reference, which is very helpful for interns looking to score their next internship.

As a community leader, I’m often faced with questions about politics. For the record, I denounce President Trump’s racist rhetoric. I’ll shout it LOUDLY from the rooftops: This is America! We are not racist!

Myself, I’ve lived in countries with ethnic people! I’m a woman—who runs a business!– Allie’s T-Shirt Boutique–according to an ethical set of principles! Three T-shirts for seven dollars—today only!

In my extensive, mind-opening travels, I’ve seen a similar style of authoritarian leadership abroad; foreign politicians make much better authoritarian leaders.

You’d be surprised what a strongly-worded letter email can do. My father went to Stamford law. Allie’s T-Shirt Boutique owns the rights to all T-shirt screen-printed content, and you’d have to prove in court that Allie’s has violated any artistic content copyright that you may (pathetically) claim. We did not steal artistic content from your Instragram pages, so please stop targeting hard-working business owners.

As a reminder, Allie’s Boutique does offer graphic design internships.

Your local business/community leader,

Allie Thomson